My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
