Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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