im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
he was CRYING into my vagina
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
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