i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize