I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
