did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
