Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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