Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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