I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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