your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
