he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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