New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
