you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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