im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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