i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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