Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
