Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
