Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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