just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
We don't watch enough power rangers
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
