shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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