But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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