how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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