his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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