he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
