I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
