Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you didnt know i had herpes?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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