How'd it feel making her break her religion?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Your shirt... Was in my pants
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
