Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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