Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
