If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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