i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
