Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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