lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
