Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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