I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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