it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I don't think brook has ever known best
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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