in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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