dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
