No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
