I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
