this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
