Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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