turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize