Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize