I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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