I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
