Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
