why didn't you poke me back
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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