Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize