ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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