i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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