this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize