Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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