I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
