i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize