My first STD was from a foam party
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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