she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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