Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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