So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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