i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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