The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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