So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
