Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
