What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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