My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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