I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
