we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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