im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
