Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
