Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
she woke up with a sticky ear
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
