he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
