if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
