So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
