dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize