My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize