We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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