Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
