It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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