You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize