in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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