I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
