Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
