OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
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