You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
