i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
